Chapter 13 - Divorce Did Not Require Me to Make Him a Monster to the Children
I filed for divorce.
Temporary parenting arrangements were cautious.
The kitchen incident mattered enormously.
So did Grant’s use of the children as intended witnesses.
But Grant was still their father.
Noah loved him.
Lucy asked for him at bedtime.
I hated that grief could coexist with what he had done.
Their therapist helped me understand:
Children do not need to hate a parent because the other parent has good reason to.
They need adults to keep them safe enough that their own feelings can remain theirs.
I never told them:
Daddy wanted you to lie.
Because technically he never said that.
I told them:
“Dad made adult choices that were not safe. None of what happened was your responsibility.”
Noah eventually asked:
“Did Dad make us stay in the kitchen so we'd see?”
I could not lie.
“Yes.”
He cried.
Then whispered:
“I wish I went upstairs anyway.”
I held him.
“You were seven.”
“I knew it was weird.”
“You were seven.”
He finally looked at me.
“Is the baby okay?”
I put his hand against my stomach.
His little brother kicked.
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Noah smiled through tears.
For that minute, it was enough.
