Chapter 11 - Keeping Ruby Changed My Life Too

Kinship caregiving sounded noble until Monday morning.

Then reality arrived.

School drop-off.

Therapy.

Pediatric follow-ups.

Court hearings.

CPS visits.

Background checks.

Home inspections.

Work schedules.

Nightmares at 2:00 a.m.

I was a project manager for an Austin construction company. My employer gave me flexibility initially.

Then flexibility became months.

I used vacation time.

Changed projects.

Declined travel.

My promotion disappeared quietly.

Nobody said it was because of Ruby.

Nobody needed to.

For several weeks, I resented that.

Then felt guilty for resenting it.

Dr. Chen told me:

“You are allowed to love a child and dislike what caregiving costs.”

That helped.

Ruby began gaining weight gradually.

More importantly, food stopped dominating every minute.

One morning the pantry basket was still full.

I stared at it as though she had brought home a trophy.

“Not hungry?” I asked.

She shrugged.

“I can eat later.”

I nearly cried.

Paula’s progress moved in the opposite direction.

She finally ended her relationship with Sergio after prosecutors formally charged him with injury to a child and unlawful restraint based on the accumulated evidence.

But ending the relationship did not erase her conduct.

Prosecutors also charged Paula with child endangerment and tampering-related offenses connected to concealing conditions and attempting to influence Ruby’s account.

Exact charges shifted as evidence was reviewed.

Her criminal attorney advised her to stop discussing the case publicly.

Family court continued separately.

Paula began parenting classes.

Then missed two.

Started therapy.

Then changed therapists.

Submitted clean drug tests—substances were never the primary issue anyway.

At supervised visits, she sometimes did well.

Other times she cried until Ruby comforted her.

Supervisors documented that too.

Our mother begged me to “help Paula.”

“I am helping Ruby.”

“She’s your sister.”

“And Ruby is five.”

Mom’s voice cracked.

“Do you want Paula to lose her child?”

I looked toward the backyard.

Ruby was digging a hole beside my fence because she had decided worms needed a hotel.

“No.”

That answer surprised Mom.

I meant it.

I didn’t want my sister destroyed.

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I wanted her to become someone Ruby could safely love.

Whether she would was no longer something I could do for her.