Chapter 6 - Caroline Had Been Making Me Smaller in Other People's Memories
Once I knew what to look for, I realized Caroline had been narrating me for years.
To teachers:
“Rachel works constantly.”
To neighbors:
“I'm basically the stay-at-home parent.”
To my mother:
“June gets really dysregulated when Rachel misses bedtime.”
To our pediatrician:
“Her schedule can make routines difficult.”
Every statement contained enough truth to sound harmless.
I did work.
Caroline did handle more weekday afternoons.
June did like routine.
But a pattern of selected truths can become a lie.
At soccer, another mother told me:
“I didn't realize you were able to make daytime games.”
I frowned.
“Why wouldn't I?”
She became uncomfortable.
“Caroline said hospital leadership had you almost never home.”
Almost never.
I had been home four nights out of seven.
Usually more.
Then my HR records showed something worse.
Three times, Caroline had offered to pick up June from school even though I had been off work.
Later those dates appeared in her parenting ledger as:
I handled pickup because Rachel unavailable.
Unavailable because Caroline had told me:
“I've got it. Relax.”
May you like
Care became evidence.
I had thanked her for things she was later using against me.
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