Chapter 14 - MY LAST DECISION AS MOTHER SUPERIOR
Carmen did not cooperate.
Her attorney delivered a written denial.
She blamed Beatriz.
She blamed Keystone.
She blamed Lucía’s grief.
She even blamed me.
The only person she did not blame was herself.
Beatriz chose differently.
She gave investigators a detailed account with her attorney present.
She admitted that after Mateo’s birth, Carmen repeatedly told her Lucía would regret remaining childless once Andrew’s stored samples were gone.
Beatriz said she initially refused.
Then Carmen reminded her that Lucía had consented once.
That became the excuse.
One choice converted into imagined permanent permission.
Beatriz admitted giving Lucía medication before the later procedures.
She admitted hiding supplies from the infirmary log.
She admitted keeping the cycle chart.
She admitted using the blue key to enter Lucía’s old room.
She did not ask to be forgiven.
That was the first responsible thing I had seen her do in months.
The diocesan board met with me two days later.
They did not accuse me of participating.
They did conclude that I had responded inadequately after Emiliano’s unexplained conception.
I agreed.
They offered to let me remain Mother Superior during the rest of the review.
I declined.
Sister Miriam stared at me when I told the community.
“You don’t have to resign.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Because of Beatriz?”
“Because leadership cannot mean demanding accountability only from other people.”
I remained a member of the order.
I simply stopped being the woman with the final key.
Lucía came to Santa Clara that afternoon to collect the last boxes from her room.
She wore jeans, a gray sweater, and no veil.
Her temporary leave from religious life had been extended.
Mateo raced through the corridor toward me.
Emiliano slept against her shoulder.
At the front entrance, Lucía stopped.
“Do you regret letting me come back after Mateo?”
I thought carefully.
“No.”
“Do you regret believing me?”
“No.”
“What do you regret?”
“That I believed the only question was whether you had broken a vow.”
She looked at me for a long moment.
Then she hugged me.
Outside, two unmarked state vehicles pulled into the visitor lot.
Carmen’s attorney had been notified that charges were being filed.
May you like
Lucía did not turn around to watch.
She buckled her sons into the car and drove away.
