Chapter 12 - What Each of Them Was Protecting
The final mediation was the first time all four adults sat in one room since the kitchen meeting.
Mum.
Dad.
Clare.
Me.
Separate solicitors.
No children.
The mediator asked each person what they actually wanted.
Clare went first.
“I want this to stop.”
The mediator waited.
Clare sighed.
“I want the money restored properly and I want my daughter not to think everyone hates her.”
Better.
Mum said:
“I want my family back.”
I looked at her.
The mediator asked:
“What does that mean?”
“Sunday lunches. Birthdays. Christmas. Normal.”
There was the flaw.
Mum still defined repair as restoring access.
Dad said:
“I want the girls protected.”
Then looked at me.
“And I want Denise to know I’m sorry.”
The mediator turned to me.
I already knew.
“I want neither child’s money controlled by anyone sitting at this table.”
Mum stiffened.
“You don’t trust yourself either?”
“Not forever.”
That answer bothered her.
She needed this to remain a fight over whether I or she was the better guardian.
I no longer accepted the premise.
Then the emotional confrontation moved where it needed to.
I asked Clare:
“Why did you agree to do that to Norah?”
She cried.
“Because Mum said you’d never help Olivia otherwise.”
“I had already approved legitimate school expenses.”
“You wouldn’t help me buy a house.”
“That money wasn’t yours.”
“I know that now.”
“No.”
I looked at her.
“You knew it then. You just thought your need was more important.”
Clare covered her face.
Eventually:
“Yes.”
Then Mum.
“Why Norah?”
Her eyes filled.
“I was angry with you.”
“So you punished her.”
“I wanted you to see what it felt like when Olivia was treated second.”
“Olivia wasn’t being treated second. I refused to give her mother £86,000.”
Mum had no answer.
Finally Dad.
“Why move the cake?”
His voice broke.
“Because Pauline told me to.”
“That’s not why.”
He looked at me.
“Because saying no to your mother felt harder than saying no to a five-year-old.”
There it was.
Not greed.
Cowardice.
Different motive.
Same consequence.
I left mediation understanding them better.
I did not like them more.
May you like
Understanding is not forgiveness.
Sometimes it simply tells you what boundary must exist next.
