Chapter 6 - THE FIRST TWO BABIES WERE CHOSEN—THE THIRD WAS NOT
Esperanza finally told the whole story on Friday night.
Not to the board.
Not to lawyers.
To Caridad.
They sat in the convent kitchen after everyone else had gone to bed.
Miguel slept upstairs.
Tomás snored softly in a portable crib beside the pantry.
Rainwater ticked into the old cistern outside.
Esperanza held a mug of chamomile tea with both hands.
“The first pregnancy was mine.”
Caridad nodded.
“The second?”
Esperanza stared into the tea.
“Mine too.”
“Even with the pressure.”
“Yes.”
“That matters.”
“I know.”
“The third?”
“No.”
The answer came without hesitation.
Caridad waited.
Esperanza explained that after Tomás’s birth, Helena began calling within three weeks.
Not asking how Esperanza slept.
Not asking whether the baby gained weight.
Asking about “the final embryo.”
Paloma did the same.
At first, Esperanza ignored them.
Then she said no.
Then she said it more clearly.
“Did you put it in writing?”
“Yes.”
Caridad’s head lifted.
“Where?”
“Email.”
“Do you still have it?”
“I deleted it.”
“Why?”
“Because Helena replied with a picture of Mateo.”
Caridad stared.
“She wrote, ‘He trusted you.’”
Esperanza’s hands shook.
“I couldn’t look at it anymore.”
“Deleted email may still exist somewhere.”
“Maybe.”
“Rachel can work on it.”
Esperanza nodded.
“Paloma came here six weeks later.”
“For bleeding.”
“That was real.”
“What happened?”
“She examined me.”
Esperanza closed her eyes.
“She said there was retained tissue after delivery.”
“Five months after birth?”
“She said it was unusual but possible.”
“Did she recommend a procedure?”
“Yes.”
“A D&C?”
“Something smaller. She said she could do it here because I panicked at the hospital after Tomás.”
“Did you?”
“Yes.”
That was true.
Tomás’s birth had ended with heavy bleeding and an ambulance ride to Christus St. Vincent in Santa Fe.
Hospitals frightened Esperanza afterward.
Paloma knew that.
“She gave me medication.”
“What?”
“I don’t know.”
“Did you sign anything?”
“A consent for examination and sedation.”
“Embryo transfer?”
“No.”
“Are you certain?”
Esperanza looked at Caridad.
“I asked her directly.”
“What?”
“Because I saw a catheter package.”
Caridad’s skin went cold.
“What did she say?”
“That it was for saline imaging.”
“And you believed her.”
“I wanted to.”
The phrase kept returning.
Caridad understood why.
Wanting to believe is not the same as being stupid.
It is often what makes betrayal possible.
Esperanza continued.
“I remember Paloma saying, ‘Breathe. It’s almost done.’”
Then nothing until she woke in the recovery room.
Imelda was there.
“Imelda?”
“She brought me soup.”
“Did she know?”
“I don’t know.”
“Did you ask Paloma afterward?”
“Not then.”
“When?”
“Yesterday.”
Caridad stared.
“You spoke to her yesterday?”
“She called me.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Esperanza looked ashamed.
“She said if I made accusations, I could lose Miguel and Tomás.”
Caridad sat straighter.
“What?”
“She said I had lied to the Church about the first two pregnancies. She said Helena had records proving I was unstable and deceptive.”
“That is not how custody works.”
“I know that now.”
“Did you know it yesterday?”
“No.”
Esperanza began crying.
“She said Helena’s attorneys could argue I used a convent to conceal children from their paternal family.”
Caridad’s anger became physical.
Not hot.
Sharp.
“Helena sees the boys.”
“Only here.”
“You allowed that.”
“Yes.”
“She has no automatic right to custody because she is wealthy.”
“I know.”
“Paloma frightened you.”
“Yes.”
Tomás stirred.
Esperanza stood, lifted him, and held him against her chest.
Caridad looked at the baby.
Mateo’s blue eyes.
Esperanza’s mouth.
A child born from a choice Esperanza both wanted and regretted how she had been pushed into.
Life does not simplify ethical mistakes by making the children less loved.
Caridad said, “You lied about Miguel and Tomás.”
“Yes.”
“That will have consequences.”
“I know.”
“But being dishonest does not make your no disappear.”
Esperanza looked at her.
Caridad continued.
“No is not erased because you said yes two years earlier.”
Esperanza’s face crumpled.
For the first time since the third pregnancy began, she looked relieved.
The next morning, Rachel recovered Esperanza’s deleted email through her cloud archive.
Subject:
NO MORE TRANSFERS.
Esperanza had written to Paloma and Helena four months earlier.
I love Miguel and Tomás. I do not regret that they exist. But I will not have another embryo transferred. Please stop asking me.
Paloma replied:
We should discuss this in person.
Helena replied separately:
Mateo deserved better than fear.
Esperanza answered:
This is not fear. This is my decision.
Caridad read the line aloud.
Then Rachel scrolled farther.
A deleted draft existed in Paloma’s account because she had accidentally copied the convent’s old administrative email on one message months earlier.
Paloma to Helena:
She remains resistant.
Helena:
Then wait.
Paloma:
There may not be another viable cycle for months.
Helena:
Do not do anything she can later call force.
Caridad stopped.
That mattered.
Helena had actually written not to proceed without consent.
Maybe she had drawn a line.
Then the next email appeared.
Three weeks later.
Helena:
If she will not honor Mateo’s plan, release the embryo to me.
Paloma:
You have no legal authority.
Helena:
Then persuade her.
Paloma:
I have been persuading her for three years.
Helena:
And?
Paloma:
She always understands afterward.
Caridad felt sick.
That was not consent.
It was a philosophy.
Then Rachel opened the final recovered message.
Sent the morning of the third transfer.
Paloma to Helena:
I will handle Elena tonight.
No consent form was attached.
No discussion.
No question.
Just:
I will handle Elena tonight.
May you like
The investigation had stopped being about a mysterious pregnancy.
It was now about a doctor who believed knowing a patient well enough gave her permission to override her.
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